Unconditional Love – Possible or not??

Unconditional love..  Is it a real possibility or is it an urban myth?

How many people can live and breathe Unconditional Love 24/7?

I used to believe that I loved my children, my family (brothers, mother, uncles, nephews, cousins, etc etc), my friends unconditionally..  And, I knew I was always needing to learn unconditional love when I had a partner..

Now, I’m not so sure..

To me, to live with Unconditional Love means:

• to love someone without any hidden agendas,
• to love them no matter what they do,
• to love them without expectation or judgement,
• to see their light rather than their behaviour,
• to know that there are no labels (good, bad, etc) – everything just is.

When I look at that list, I know deep within me that I can tick the top two – but the bottom three?  Wow..  As I said I used to think I did!   However, after listening to one of my daughters, I realised that I do judge my children (in the sense of getting disappointed with the things they do, especially now that they are mini adults and needing to spread their wings) – I do get caught up in their behaviour – I do get so pissed off with them that I am the one needing a “time out”.  If it’s not possible for me to love my own children unconditionally, is that whole concept a possibility for me at all?

Why is it that the people with whom we have the closest relationship, tend to be the ones we are most conditional about?  What is really at play here?  Our ego?  The mirror with all its facets saying “right back at you”?  Is it all a rouse to wake us up?  Maybe it’s because we are not unconditional with ourselves first and foremost.

I don’t understand why it’s so difficult to always come from a position of love.  Love is our natural state.  When did it stop being so?  Or at least becoming so that we have to search to find it?  Have we really gone that far astray from ourselves?  I know when I am coming from a position of love, my entire being vibrates at an entirely different level and I feel so at peace and at one with the world.  Knowing that feeling..  Experiencing that feeling…  Why on earth do I ever allow myself to go back to the lower vibrations?  Is it a habit to live in those lower vibrations?  If so, then surely I can make love a habit…

That is what I am currently working on..  And oh my, it is a constant challenge.  I have to catch those unloving thoughts (that seem to occur with ease) as they creep in and turn them around.  It’s fascinating to watch – like one of those cartoons with an angel on one shoulder and a little devil on the other both whispering in your ear.  Which one am I going to listen to now?  (Was it this tricky to learn the other habit?)

Even after all of this questioning, I still believe that it’s a real possibility…

Awareness being the first step of awakening…

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Quote..

The thought manifests as the word.

The word manifests as the deed.

The deed develops into habit.

And the habit hardens into character.

So watch the thought and its ways with care.

And let it spring from love,

born out of concern for all beings.

 

Buddha

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Epiphany..

I had an “Aha” moment the other day – while a friend was describing how to practice “Heart Radiance” (something that has taken him over 20 years and so many varied and interesting journeys to develop)..

I’m going to attempt to capture my moment in words – I’m not sure how successful I will be, but, here goes:

Even though we are all connected – all part of the one source..  We are here on individual journeys..  Journeys that contribute to the whole.. 

All the self help books out there, the ones that give us the 1,2,3 answers to make us happier, wealhtier, more fulfilled, etc etc may work for the people that created them – because they found their path – their answers to the questions in their lives. 

But, unless you can actually find your own path – the key to your own happiness – anything you try will not be sustainable.  That all the help in the world is still someone else’s journey – parts may be valid for you – but, not the whole.  Nothing external to yourself is sustainable. 

It is only in finding yourself that the lessons you learn there become complete.

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Deeper..

How many onion layers do we possess?  How many layers must we peel away to find our inner truth?  How many emotions/past lives etc do we need to clear in order to find a sense of peace and harmony within?

With every experience we have, we have a choice on how that experience affects us.  We can choose to ignore it, push it to one side, put it into a safety deposit box in our mind, try to erase memories, all because we don’t want to face the emotions coming up.  When we do those things we build a layer around ourselves – a layer that hardens over time – a layer that we think will protect us.  But in reality, those layers are the things keeping us from being truly happy.. Those layers hold us back, keep us seperate, build so many barriers that we can no longer feel.  That is how I have been my entire life – just pushing all my pain and hurt to one side – I was taught that you do that in order to get on with life – that you have to be strong – that there is no place for emotion in this harsh world of ours..  It’s a wonder I’m not a skyscraper with the amount of layers I’m carrying!

Or, you can choose to deal with whatever comes up at the time.. Hmmm…  Such a novel idea – and seems so easy to do – yeah, right!!

And now, I am in the process of peeling away those layers..  It is hard work!  Just when you think you are there – something comes up to test you and you realise that there are still more layers.. I feel like someone is standing over me with a pendulum swinging in front of my eyes, chanting “deeper, deeper..”   So, I will continue on with the shedding, because I want to live my life from my truth – I want to be who I was meant to be.

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Missing

I feel like I am missing something..

I keep searching and searching and still it is missing..

What is it?  Is it a sense of purpose? Is it a sense of self? Is it a sense of not knowing what this life is all about?

Well..  Whatever it is, I feel its pull..  Guiding me in my search for answers..  Not letting me rest until I really know what it is..  Not letting me settle for a mediocre life (which at this point – it pretty much is!!)..

I think once you begin this process – this self questioning, there is no turning back.  You have to see it through til the very end. 

My thirst for knowledge has increased exponentially.  My want to connect to a higher source of being has become my driver.  I am awakening from a self imposed slumber and sometimes that can be a very scary thing – yet at the same time – wonderfully exhilerating. 

The world is full of possibilities if you become open to them.  If you can get past your conditioning and become truly open in a loving and accepting way – wow, what a way to live..  And I want to truly live my life, in that way – open, loving, accepting, finding wonder in small things, creating a life that I love.  I don’t want to end up on my death bed and find I have regrets.

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