Posts Tagged ‘confusion’


Yes.. I have been totally silent..  What can I say.. 

Lost my voice.. Lost my words…

Hopefully they’ll come back soon..

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Today was a total mixture – full of every emotion I possess.. 

This morning, there was confusion, doubt, tears..  Time spent in therapy, trying to clear some of the crap that I have accumulated over the years.. Normally after that, I feel wonderful for the rest of the day..  But, not today!  Today directly after, I was in panic mode, my heart in my throat, unable to concentrate on anything..  Then, the nervousness began.. 

This afternoon – well, let’s just say, this afternoon was total bliss.. I looked into the eyes of someone I love with all of my being – nothing can compare with that feeling..  I felt at home, complete, enveloped in love for the first time in months..  I’d forgotten what it could be like..  Now, the patience must begin..

And if you knew me, you would know that patience is not a strong point of mine.  I am, however, willing to learn..  Am I scared? – yes – terrified actually..  But then I think of his eyes – I listen to my heart – and it’s not telling me to run away (my mind is.. my mind is saying “Run for the hills”.. get away, while you still have some sanity..), but my heart – my heart belongs to him.

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