Posts Tagged ‘love’

Unconditional love..  Is it a real possibility or is it an urban myth?

How many people can live and breathe Unconditional Love 24/7?

I used to believe that I loved my children, my family (brothers, mother, uncles, nephews, cousins, etc etc), my friends unconditionally..  And, I knew I was always needing to learn unconditional love when I had a partner..

Now, I’m not so sure..

To me, to live with Unconditional Love means:

  • to love someone without any hidden agendas,
  • to love them no matter what they do,
  • to love them without expectation or judgement,
  • to see their light rather than their behaviour,
  • to know that there are no labels (good, bad, etc) – everything just is.

When I look at that list, I know deep within me that I can tick the top two – but the bottom three?  Wow..  As I said I used to think I did!   However, after listening to one of my daughters, I realised that I do judge my children (in the sense of getting disappointed with the things they do, especially now that they are mini adults and needing to spread their wings) – I do get caught up in their behaviour – I do get so pissed off with them that I am the one needing a “time out”.  If it’s not possible for me to love my own children unconditionally, is that whole concept a possibility for me at all?

Why is it that the people with whom we have the closest relationship, tend to be the ones we are most conditional about?  What is really at play here?  Our ego?  The mirror with all its facets saying “right back at you”?  Is it all a rouse to wake us up?  Maybe it’s because we are not unconditional with ourselves first and foremost.

I don’t understand why it’s so difficult to always come from a position of love.  Love is our natural state.  When did it stop being so?  Or at least becoming so that we have to search to find it?  Have we really gone that far astray from ourselves?  I know when I am coming from a position of love, my entire being vibrates at an entirely different level and I feel so at peace and at one with the world.  Knowing that feeling..  Experiencing that feeling…  Why on earth do I ever allow myself to go back to the lower vibrations?  Is it a habit to live in those lower vibrations?  If so, then surely I can make love a habit…

That is what I am currently working on..  And oh my, it is a constant challenge.  I have to catch those unloving thoughts (that seem to occur with ease) as they creep in and turn them around.  It’s fascinating to watch – like one of those cartoons with an angel on one shoulder and a little devil on the other both whispering in your ear.  Which one am I going to listen to now?  (Was it this tricky to learn the other habit?)

Even after all of this questioning, I still believe that it’s a real possibility…

Awareness being the first step of awakening…

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Forgiveness..  Interesting concept…

What happens when you don’t forgive?  I know what happens to me..  A part of me shrivels up & dies or creates another hard layer of my psyche that is difficult to shift..  And the more I try to push it aside, more & more of my life force/energy gets eaten away until I am left with just a smidgen of what I could be…

Is that any way to live? Is that any way to be?

You are only hurting yourself when you do not forgive..

What I am learning now, is that I can easily forgive other people – so much so that my mother believes me to be an “easy target” and my children think I am weak and need protecting!  (What they don’t understand (at the moment) is that it is a tough road to follow – to pull yourself up when you perceive an attack and let it go.  Which is quite different to ignoring or avoiding a situation.)

However, when it comes to me, I am having great difficulty…  It seems that I have a tendency to be really hard on myself and expect a great deal from myself.  When I fall short of those expectations, I do not forgive, I just give myself a hard time…  No loving thoughts coming my way from me!!

Why is that?

I guess I don’t need to know why…  I just need to learn..  Learn to be loving towards myself..  Learn to offer myself the same advice as I would offer my friends…  Learn to forgive myself..

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 Be less of a judge and you will be surprised that when you become a witness and you don’t judge yourself, you stop judging others too. And that makes you more human, more compassionate, more understanding. 


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The thought manifests as the word.

The word manifests as the deed.

The deed develops into habit.

And the habit hardens into character.

So watch the thought and its ways with care.

And let it spring from love,

born out of concern for all beings.



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I haven’t written anything here for a while for a variety of reasons.. 

Some days, I just have had no words..

Some days, I have wanted to concentrate on my book..

Some days, I have just felt so stuck in my own misery that I didn’t want to..

Some days, have just become so busy – there has been no time..

All these are the excuses I have given myself as I sit and stare at my computer screen..

But, I think the main reason is the emotional turmoil I am feeling at the moment.. 

To have experienced a truly beautiful love, something so unique, unbelievably special and magical, the depth of which I have never experienced in this life – Is something I should be eternally grateful for..

Instead, I sit here in abject misery because it is gone.. 

When does the joy come back after a broken heart?  When do you begin to live again?  When can you look at what you’ve experienced without it causing you pain?  When can you look at it and feel the gratitude for at least experiencing it?

I know it’s a choice to feel miserable – I know that I can experience unconditional love that wells up inside me (for some reason I’m just choosing not to..)…


Sorry..  Just had to go BLAH!

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Your Song..

My wonderful friend, Candy sent this to me – I loved it…

When a woman in a certain African tribe knows she is pregnant, she goes into the wilderness with a few friends and together they pray and meditate until they hear the song of the child.


They recognize that every soul has its own vibration that expresses its unique flavor and  purpose. When the women attune to the song, they sing it out loud. Then they return to the tribe and teach it to everyone else.


When the child is born, the community gathers and sings the child’s song to him or her.  Later, when the child enters education, the village gathers and chants the child’s song.   When the child passes through the initiation to adulthood, the people again come together and sing. At the time of marriage, the person hears his or her song.


Finally, when the soul is about to pass from this world, the family and friends gather  at the person’s bed, just as they did at their birth, and they sing the person to the next life.


In the African tribe there is one other occasion upon which the villagers sing to the child.  If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or aberrant social act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around them. Then they sing their song to them.


The tribe recognizes that the correction for antisocial behavior is not punishment; it is love and the remembrance of identity.


When you recognize your own song, you have no desire or need to do anything that would hurt another.


A friend is someone who knows your song and sings it to you when you have forgotten it.


Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself.


They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.


You may not have grown up in an African tribe that sings your song to you at crucial life transitions, but life is always reminding you when you are in tune with yourself and when you are not.


When you feel good, what you are doing matches your song, and when you feel awful, it doesn’t.


In the end, we shall all recognize our song and sing it well.


You may feel a little wobbly sometimes, but so have all the great singers.  

Just keep singing and you’ll find your way home.


Speak only of other’s good.


Health, prosperity, joy and awakening  to you always! 


Peace on earth and to all living beings!

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Sometimes, Life has a way of beating you..  Of knocking you to the ground..  Of kicking you while you are down there..  Of holding you in a place of deep despair..

Sometimes, Life sucks..  People die.. People leave.. Money becomes scarce..  Jobs are lost.. 

Sometimes, Life is crap.. Arguments are had with the people you care most about..  Children suddenly become teenagers (a whole series of posts in itself!).. You run over a kangaroo..

Sometimes, Life is so horrible you just want to be out of it.. You allow your mind to control you..  You become trapped in an inner world where nothing holds any meaning, any joy..

Well… Shit happens..

It’s up to us on how we deal with whatever comes our way..  It’s up to us to change the way we view the so called negative experiences of life..  It’s up to us to create our own reality in the way we look at life..  It’s up to us to find our joy.. To find our purpose..

There is nothing holding us back, except ourselves and our self imposed limitations..

We have a choice to make..  We can let Life beat us (which is ok – as long as its a conscious choice) or we can search for the lessons, learn them and move on – change the way we think..

And from my own personal experience, I’m choosing the latter – it’s a tough path – a constant battle between the forces inside.  There are days where the negativity wins out – there are days where I am full to the brim of the excitement of life – where I can look at a flower and think how amazing it is – and there are many in between days.

What is becoming more constant for me now though, is acceptance..  Acceptance that if I happen to have a day that’s not so great – rather than judging myself for the “fall off the wagon” – I now tell myself, it’s ok – I’m ok..  “This too shall pass” is becoming my mantra..

The other thing that is happening – the other thing I can now access whenever I want to (remember to/choose to is probably more like it!) is Unconditional Love..  To feel that love is sublime..  It brings tears to my eyes.. 

A definition of Unconditional Love – “To love without expectation of return..”.  To be able to offer yourself that love would have to be one of the greatest gifts – and once you can do that sustainably – you are ready for an even greater gift – to offer it to everyone else..

Hmmm..  My version of Utopia!

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Self sabotage is interesting..  Totally unconsciously, it holds you in a place of darkness.. It limits your very essence..  It controls your life with voices of duty, guilt, regret, self pity – all the while trying to make you feel better about choices that have left you feeling empty, hollow, confused..

Wonder why it is that we do that?  Is it because we are terrified of following our dreams – our desires – our passions – just in case they don’t work out?  If you don’t follow your dreams, you never have to risk anything..  But, the alternative is so much worse..  A life half lived is a waste of a life.. 

To know passion & love..  To follow our dreams..  To follow our hearts.. Is to live.

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Questions about love..

Do you believe that love can overcome anything?  That if you love someone completely that you can work anything out?   Or is that just a complete myth?  A fairytale?

Can you put love aside because your priorities are different?  Is settling the better way of going? 

I don’t know the answers to any of these questions – I only have my belief that love is all there is.  Maybe that belief is going to make a very unhappy life..  I don’t know..

With great love comes great risk..

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What is love?  Love for a partner?  I feel it so completely with him (the look into the eyes and nothing else matters) – and yet – it continually brings me to my knees..  My need for him is intense.. The joy I experience when I’m with him incomparable..  And yet – it is gone.  Again, it is gone – just wiped away – placed into the too hard basket!  

The pain I never realised I could experience, continues – the crying – unabated.

Lost love – something I would not wish for on my worst enemy.

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